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Gender Disappointment: Finding Your Way to Joy

Millions of parents every year are thrilled when they learn they are pregnant, but many will suppress the fact that they are disappointed when the ultrasound reveals the baby’s gender is not what they had hoped.

Some will talk about those feelings with their spouse, family, or closest friends, but others will suppress their feelings of disappointment.

Angie Wagner of The Associated Press, raises for discussion the supposition that “good mothers are supposed to say they are happy with a boy or a girl as long as the baby is healthy.”  She goes on to point out that many pregnant women experience gender disappointment.  Expectant fathers are also often disappointed, but they are trying to be the perfect supportive husbands and often stuff the feelings themselves.

Is it common for mothers to want girls and fathers to want sons?

According to Joyce Venis, a psychiatric nurse in Princeton, New Jersey, the disappointment is often not discussed because the expectant mother or father is convinced that their disappointment would be perceived as being ungrateful.  Venis. who works with women suffering from gender disappointment, says the problems is more common to women who wanted a daughter.

Countless women who suffer the disappointment of not having a daughter are reminded of that disappointment when they see other baby girls, when they see baby dolls, or have to visit the infant or toddler clothing department to buy a gift for someone else’s little girl.

“Just because a woman has a gender preference does not mean she is a bad mother or that she doesn’t want the child,” Venis says.

Having an ultrasound to learn the sex of your baby enables expectant mothers, fathers and other family members to deal with any disappointments gradually before the baby is born.  Venis suggests finding someone to talk with.  If necessary, that person may be a therapist.  A therapist can help you resolve true feelings without being judgmental.  Sometimes that kind of support is difficult to find among family and friends.

Clinical psychologist Katherine Asbery was not even immune to such disappointments.  She became so depressed that her third child was a boy that she could not even say the sex of her baby.  She spent hours crying over her disappointment after she and her husband had tried different techniques that promised a baby girl.

“That dream of what you wanted is gone, and you have to learn to live with that,” says Asbery.

Asbery had recorded her journey in a book called “Altered Dreams: Living with Gender Disappointment.“  Although she still experiences some sadness, she feels her family is complete and no longer feels that someone is missing.

“It’s normal.  And they shouldn’t feel like a freak.  It is a normal process of when a dream has changed.  You just have to relearn a different dream.”

         

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Actress Raven-Symoné Is Not Pregnant Nor Does She Have a Baby

Rumors have been circulating all over the Internet that That’s So Rave and Cheetah Girls star Raven-Symoné gave birth to a baby this month.

Actress Raven-Symoné is tired of all the rumors spreading that she is either pregnant or just recently gave birth to a baby. She is setting the record straight once and for all.

Her rep told PEOPLE, “Raven-Symoné is not pregnant nor did she give birth.”

The singer/actress is set to take the stage this week for a concert at Six Flags Great Adventure in New Jersey, as this is just the first of her concert series this summer.

Numerous websites and even news agencies were reporting that the singer had given birth or was about to give birth, but none of them had any evidence except an “inside source.”

         

Teresa Giudice is Pregnant

US hit TV show, “The Real Housewives of New Jersey,” Teresa Giudice is pregnant. Teresa is due in about four months reports People.

Teresa Giudice and hubbie Joe are building their dream home in Towaco, New Jersey, and are already parents to three girls, Gia, 8, Gabriella, 4, and Milania, 3.

There are no plans to reveal the sex of the baby until after she delivers, but it’s likely the birth will form part of a lucrative deal with People Magazine.

Teresa has so far been a humorous addition to the hit show, a good-hearted retail junky, she was seen splashing out on more than $100,000 on furniture and practically plating her house in granite, marble and onyx. She’s also a fan of dressing the entire family (including husband Joe) to match each other.

Despite being seen on Tuesday’s episode meeting with a fertility doctor to talk about her repeated miscarriages, Teresa’s friend Jacqueline Laurita had previously confirmed her pregnancy.

         

Former WWE Star Becomes The New Mother From New Jersey

Diva Dawn Marie, former WWE star, announced yesterday on her Facebook page that she has given birth to a healthy girl.

She said that baby Katie entered the world at 8:10am, and that they were both doing well.

Dawn became one of the top WWE women competitors, combining beauty and toughness which won her fans from across the globe. The new mother from New Jersey thanked her fans for their support.

         

Pollution linked to smaller babies

A study reported in the Journal of Epidemiology and Community Health concludes that motor vehicle pollution is linked to smaller babies.

Traffic fumes from either living near a busy road or overexposure to motor fumes may affect fetal development.

The study found that pollution produced by motor vehicles, both sooty particles and nitrogen dioxide affected the likelihood of pregnant women having smaller babies.

The research took into account risk factors such as a young mother’s age, poor education, ethnicity, poverty, smoking and being a single parent.

Research was based on data on almost 336,000 babies born in New Jersey between 1999 and 2003.

The researchers took air quality measurements from within six miles of the mothers’ homes.

         

Evenflo highchairs - named amongst flurry of baby product recalls in USA

The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission has announced recalls of merchandise, including cribs that can cause suffocation, high chairs with falling seats, and toys that pose a choking hazard.

Recalled products were sold around the USA at Toys R Us, Babies R Us, Wal-Mart, Kmart, Burlington Coat Factory and other stores.

Scott Wolfson, a commission spokesman said; Approximatley 643,000 Evenflo Envision high chairs and 90,000 Evenflo Majestic high chairs were recalled Thursday because plastic fasteners and metal screws can fall out and allow the seat back to fall backward or detach.

320 complaints were received about Evenflo products because of suddenly reclining seat backs or completely detaching and smaller reports of screws or fasteners falling out of the Envision chair. The company has had 16 similar reports on the Majestic chair, Wolfson said.

Wolfson also said only last week, that Fisher-Price was recalling 24,000 of its 3-in-1 high chairs after the company received reports of the seat falling backward from its frame when the booster seat release was unlatched while the child was still seated.

Fisher-Price is offering a free repair kit to parents, he said. The company received one report of a child’s skull being fractured after the seat fell back.

The Evenflo high chairs were manufactured in China; the Fisher-Price chair was made in Mexico, Wolfson said.

And on Wednesday, about 4,000 What’s Inside soft toy boxes were recalled because the head of a stuffed butterfly toy can fall off, creating a choking hazard, Wolfson said.

Finally, about 1,900 SunKids convertible cribs, built in China and imported by Commerce-based Suntech Enterprises Inc., were recalled because children could suffocate in the crib, Wolfson said.

A gap can open between the side of the crib and its mattress if the bed’s mesh is not zipped into place, and a child could suffocate if wedged in the gap, Wolfson said.

The drop side of the crib also can fail to fully latch, which could result in children falling out, he said. No incidents have been reported with the crib, Wolfson said, but a 5-month-old died in August after being trapped in a similar crib. The SunKids convertible cribs were sold in California, New York and New Jersey between Jan. 2007 and Oct. 2008.