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Birth Announcement from me!!
DATE: 07/12/2008 21:02:20 / MOOD: in love

Apologies for the delay!!

 

Lewis William Tupper was born on 18th June 2008 at 12:50pm, 35wks 4days. Weighed in at 5lb 11oz by caesarian section.

 

He is a little feeding machine!! he is now nearly 4weeks old and weighs 7lb 4oz.

Adam is being a brilliant big brother, lots of kisses and cuddles.


Will post some pics in a seperate blog when get 5 mins.  There are some pics on facebook for those who are on there.

 



View Entry


Premature labour
DATE: 05/31/2008 22:15:00 / MOOD: sick

31 May 2008




33+1 - part 2!

Well where did I get to............

Tuesday. well was just monitored on ward all day and night. pain relief managed etc.

Wed - well what a horrid day, registrar and sho came round and wanted to discharge me despite still contracting 3 in 10.
Agreed I could stay one more night but no longer.

I fell apart crying on another patient. I really felt like noone was listening to me and how I felt or was feeling.

Then
in walks a mw called Sue. She is amazing!! SHe came in to do a trace
and saw I was a mess. She let me cry on her for over an hour and helped
me talk through all my concerns etc. She did my trace and despite it
not showing my contractions she palpated each one and wrote it down.
She discussed everything so clearly with me and actually understood how
I was feeling as she is one of the few who have actually had children!!

She
contacted my consultant (who again is wonderful) and she came up after
she had finished work. She sat with Paul and I and discussed our fears
and worries, what I was feeling emotionally and physically and where we
wanted to go from here on in. She got my scan moved forward and got me
written up for regular anti sickness meds and also nifedipene to help
with contractions.
She came back the followong morning to check on me and also pushed for my scan.

She came back and saw me after my scan to discuss the outcome, which was great!!

Twinkle is 2.2kg(approx), is a fatty and is very firmly breech!!!

She
agreed that if I can make it 3 more weeks she will deliver me at 36ks
if still contracting. She will insist on Twinkle having another dose of
steroids before delivery just to help lungs but hey only 3 weeks max to
go!!!

I am home now on Nifedipene, dihydracodeine, paracetamol, temazepam, metaclopramide, ferrous sulphate and plenty of rest!

She expects I will be back in very soon anyway but hey. I have an end in sight!!!

My midwife came today to check how I was and discuss any concerns.
She
phoned the out of hours docs to get me an urgent prescription for
canestan pessary as I now have a very severe case of thrush after all
the interference down that end.

She did urine - all clear
bp - raised - 140/80 when normally for this pg is 90/50(60)
listened in to Twinkle - Heartrate of 120-160 so all good there.

I
have made clear notes for my delivery. I have to ask for a telemetry
monitor when go into labour so I can be mobile as much as possible.
Also NO EPIDURAL - I want a spinal block again for my CS.
No Pethidine unless I am dying!

Paul to tell me sex of baby
Picture of baby being weighed if not too small
Pic of the 3 of us

To breastfeed immediately (or within 1st hour) or if baby in NNU then to express immediately.

I have to see cons again on thursday(5th) and final Anti-D on 9th.
MW again on 11th

I
want to thank everyone from here for all their love and support. You
are all truly fantastic and I couldn't have done it without you!!! xxxx











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31 May 2008




33+1!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OMG How the heck have I got this far!!!

A lot has happened since my last entry!!!

Very nearly had this baby twice now!!!

on Tuesday 13th may I ended up having full blown contractions start and had to go into the labour ward at 1.30am!
Was seen by docs immediately and given steroids and nifedipene to try and stop cntractions.

Was
contracting 3-4 in 10 and at varying strengths and length of time. As
per usual the CTG wasn;t picking them up due to my abnormal insides. (I
don't know if this happens to othe mums with doubles but its so
frustrating)

I was kept on the labour ward until the thursday
and eventually after a growth scan and cervix check by the head of
Feto-Maternal Medicine I was tranferred to what is now my 3rd home -
Burley Ward in Princess Anne Hospital.

I was monitored daily and
on the monday (19th) I was discharged and told if contractions really
kicked off again then I was to go back.
I was only discharged cos they were short-staffed and the sister from hell was on.

However I went home, rested up and did as I was told.

Friday
(23rd) came and I swore blind I felt "damp" all the time and so after
much nagging by my mum I caved in at 10pm and called the labour ward
(this was after I had eaten my tea, had a shower, sorted a few bits out
etc etc - fed up of not being allowed to eat for hours incase of cs!!)
Got to LW and was allocated a lovely mw called Sarah.
She got me checked over and then the docs came in.
Junior
doc was told to do a Fibro-nectin test on me to check for pre-term
labour but when she did speculum I had a slight look of Thrush so she
decided against it as would give a very inaccurate reading.
She
did an internal without the speculum and said my cervix(s) were both
closed but as she pulled fingers out my whole plug came away as well!
Oh well at least it as there and not at home!

I
was then told that I was going to be put on CTG for a good monitoring
before any decisions were made so to get comfy and Sarah would be back
in 10mins to attach me.

Well Paul fell asleep in the comfy chair
and after 5 mins I started to contract every 2-3 mins and boy were they
picking up in the pain levels.
Paul as you can imagine was oblivious, snoring away in the corner.

Sarah
came back in, took one look at me and said "that doesn't look good!!"
she strapped me to monitor and then very kindly let me get up and be
mobile as I was not happy lying on the bed.
Out comes the Gas & Air and puff puff away we go!!!

Doc
comes back in at this point and decides we need to prep for theatre
just in case so I had to have a cannula put in. Southampton have a new
policy in that you have to have a local anaesthetic inserted first
before cannula is sited and as soon as doc inserted it she blew the
veins on the back of my hand! great.

3 attempts later and 2nd hand and finally get a cannula in.

All this time I was contracting. Twinkles heart rate spot on. Accelerating/Decelerating when suppposed to.

Anyway
at 1am mw had to go and deal with another lady and me on my knees
panting hears "something isn't right in here - where's Adam?"

I look up and its my community mw come in to take over!! How glad was I to see her!!
Jo is fantastic. She really is.
She
was amazing through every contraction. She got me a birth ball which I
had never thought of using before (great in helping rock through early
part of contraction) She rubbed my back through every cntraction and
was so so calming and reassuring, especially when my cntractions
started hitting 100+ on the CTG!!!

After a few hours of refusing
I reluctantly gave in and had pethidine as I had been having
excructiating contractions for over 4 hrs on G&A alone.

It
was a long night and was moved to burley ward at 1am sunday morning as
they managed to slow the conts enough to go up on the ward. I was still
contracting but my useless body wont dilate and they wont deliver until
I do!

I ended up back on LW on monday night after conts picked up again and I started being violently sick.
Again, brought back under control and transferred back to ward on tuesday morning.




will
finish this a bit later (lots happened on wed thurs) as just got to go
and get my little man from the train station as not seen him in over a
week and missing him!!!!!

back soon!!


View Entry


Fun In The Sun
DATE: 05/08/2008 20:54:19 / MOOD: in love

just thought I'd share a clip of monkey Adam.

No idea where his accent has come from when he says "oh no" though. It sounds so funny.




View Entry


Been a very horrible week
DATE: 05/04/2008 18:43:51 / MOOD: sick

29+1

Apologies for not updating this week. Its been one horrid week health wise.

On
Tuesday I was struggling a bit with tightenings and backache. Nothing
too worrying in my eyes. However by early evening something else was
troubling me and even my mum had started to notice.
I suddenly lost all ability to breathe properly.
I
did my peak flow and it had dropped from a good 500/550 to 290. It was
scary. I have not had a peak flow that low in years. Anyway. Paul took
me off to the local NHS walk in centre (which was remarkably empty!!)
and I was seen straight away. After usual checks the nurse decided I
needed to see a GP asap. Luckily the out-of-hours gp was free so was
taken straight through.

She was concerned how low peak flow was and at my obviousl lack of breath.
She
called the labour ward as was worried that the baby would be affected
and they told me I had to go straight in, but not to them but to the
Acute Medical Unit.
So trotted home and got my hospital bag and made our way to the main hospital.

When
we arrived I was admitted immediately and as there were no beds
available on either of the 3 sections I was put in the last remaining
place, a side room with loo etc.

It wasn't nice in there I can
assure you. Its 90% old people and buzzers going off all the time and
wandering violent, disorientated people.

Nurse came and did
admission stuff. Had to answer really long questionnaire (which
incidentally was aimed at the old people. - some seriously stupid
questions)Had to do 2 swabs (MRSA checks on admission) Had to do 2
urine samples, ( I had already done 1 at the walk in centre)

I
then had to wait to see a doctor, this was going to take a while as was
really busy. By this time it was 11pm. I sent Paul home at that point
as he was shattered and it wasn't fair on him to hang around all night.

The
doctor finally came to see me at 1.30am. Definitely wasn't asthma as
wasn't weezing but was still concerned so was but on oxygen via the
nasal tube.
She then took soooooooo much blood it was daft!! I was
also given a clexane injection (which evil evil nurse gave me straight
into bump!) I was sent for a chest xray (which happened at 3.30am)
They decided at 2am that I needed to have a good dose of ventolin so shoved me on a nebuliser for 45mins.
All I wanted to do was breathe and sleep!
Once I had had chest xray they left me to it for a couple of hours.
At 6am I started being sick and was bringing up blood. Not sure what was happening there but it so wasn't nice.

My bp was high for me (127/90)(normal is 90/60)

At
about 9am a consultant came to see me. He had a good listen to chest
etc and discovered that I had a widespread systolic murmur. He ordered
an urgent echo (ultrasound of heart), a doppler of legs as been getting
pains in left leg, urgent referral to obstetrics to check Twinkle was
ok.

An hour or so later another consultant turned up and said
that he wanted me to up my inhalers to 10puffs ventolin & 4 puffs
seretide - 4 times a day.
This in itself was a nightmare as gave me palpitations and nearly passed out.

I
I had my doppler done and that was all clear. There was talk of a
special test called a VQ scan but thankfully they scrapped that idea as
it isn't really recommended in Pg and also doesn't sound very nice.

Thursday
the Obs team came and saw me in the am. Said they wanted me off the
clexane asap as wasn't ideal when threatening pre-term labour.

There was still no sign of the echo being done and they had hoped to send me home as soon as that was clear.

About
3pm 2 docs came and saw me. It turned out my iron levels were low so
they wanted repeat bloods done to recheck levels and do a full iron
study. I was also told an asthma nurse would review me.
Was then called for my echo and that was pretty painless. Was taken back t ward and told that would have results asap.

Anyhow.
At 5pm I was moved out of sideroom as an old man needed it as he was
going to pass away and they wanted to give him dignity so I was moved
onto the main ward next to some old man with dementia who wanted to go
home. Very strange and made me nervous as he kept looking at me.

Come
9pm I felt like I was sat in a sauna. It was soooo hot on the ward. I
was still seriously struggling to breathe and was having really bad
tightenings.
One of the nurses was trying to find things to cool me down but to no avail.

I was eventually allowed to go and stand by the entrance doors as was sooo hot.
It was there that an old man came out in dressing gown with his bag. He was threatening the staff and got too close to me.

I was then told at 1am that I was going to be moved to the Thoracic ward as was quieter up there.
I
evemtually made it up there at 1.30/2am. It was like a sauna, they put
me in a bay furthest from the loo, which was not good when having to go
every 10mins.
Also was with 4 elderly ladies who kept wandering,
moaning, snoring and generally complained if anyone opened a window as
they got cold, even tho it was melting on the ward.
I was onlly waiting to hear what the echo results were so was hoping to be out first thing in the morning.
Oh No! That wasnt going to happen!

Despite chasing the docs all day, they didn't turn up till 5pm!

Conclusion
is that murmur is nothing to worry about, hopefully will go once
Twinkle is here. My iron levels are very very low, (3 instead of 12)
Also pg contributing factor.
So was discharged on iron tablets
(200mg twice a day) also have to make sure see mw (appt is on 9th) and
consultant (scan and appt on 19th). Also will be reviewed by
respiratory team in a few weeks to check if settled down.

They stopped the clexane after my injection in the morning.

So
here we are now on saturday evening, I can't move far as permanently
breathless and have a toddler who is a bit unsure of what to do around
me.
Even reading to him is hard as end up puffing after a few words!

So spent the day lying in bed, occassionally popping down to see my men.

Just going to rest up now and hope breathing eases!!

Its all fun in this house!!!

ho hum

lets just pray twinkle stays put!!

View Entry


Another long update sorry
DATE: 04/25/2008 22:13:39 / MOOD: in love

Been so tied up with this Twinkle am copying and pasting again

 










25 April 2008




28wk bump pic







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25 April 2008




28wk bump pic







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25 April 2008




28wk bump pic







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24 April 2008




27+6

Well
Twinkle is a happy bunny, bum is firmly engaged in my pelvis and not
moving for anyone!! Got one foot stuck straight out against hip bone
and boy do I know it.
Head is firmly planted on my ribs and enjoys
headbutting them! It can roll side to side but no other way and is 90%
of the time lying with back upper most.
Measurements are all good
for this stage. Thankfully the fluid levels and pressure in the cord
are ok which is one of the indicators of labour with Adam.
I am to go straight to hosp if get anymore tightenings that I can't handle but at the mo grinning and bearing it.

Twinkle
is approx 2.5lbs at this stage (mind you I don't believe the weights
from scans after being told Adam would only be 2lbish the day before he
arrived and he was 4lb2oz)

I will have another scan in 3-4wks if
no sign of labouring earlier. That will take me to approx 31-32wks
which is when Adam was born.
Consultant has informed me that
Southampton has changed its policy on Steroids and despite what I was
told at 24wks I will now be given a another full course should I go
back in at any stage.

Anyhow all is good for now. Just got to take it a day-by-day, week-by-week and hopefully we will get to 32wks!

Here is a pic of Twinkle







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23 April 2008




27+5

(its a long one I am afraid)

Today has been a mixed day.

Up until 5.45/6pm it was the day from hell with regards to Adam.
I
have a cut under my eye, the start of bruising, bite marks and a very
sore bump after a day of non-stop screaming, hitting, kicking, pinching
biting.

It was such a nice start to the day. He came into my
room about 7/7.30 all smiles. I was shattered as hadn't slept due to
Twinkle being a righ fidget pants and kicking me in the lady bits.
Anyhow, we had a nice cuddle and were watching tv when he suddenly
turned on me. Hitting me repeatedly in the face. I couldn't do much but
try and protect myself as he was hitting and scratching. He grabbed at
my face and ended up cutting under my eye. He then lay down next to me
and started kicking me, more aimed at my bump which I was doing my damn
hardest to protect. After 5/10mins of this I managed to get myself off
the bed after being pinned by Adam and duvet and managed to get him
downstairs.

Made him his Ready Brek, sat him in high chair and all was well.

Went
and brought the washing down and as I got to the righthand side of his
highchair he looked at me, said "Oh No" then threw the whole lot on the
floor to his left. He hadnt had a mouthful and it was everywhere.

I then had to scrub the floor qhich was not good as the bowl was warm and sealed itself to the floor.

Then
I gave him his toast and sat down to eat my breakfast, at which point
he looked at me said "oh no" and threw the whole lot on the floor.

By
this point I was in tears. Mum came down at that point and helped me
clear up and then I finally managed to have my breakfast.

I
then cracked up completely. I just fell apart on my mum. I haven't
cried like that in a long long time. Everything just got to me.

Adam
was still being a pain and was emptying everything out and throwing
things at me. Made me feel like a complete failure of a mother.

I
took a walk to the chemist as needed to pick up prescription and get
more rennie tablets. The slow walk gave me time to calm down and clear
my head.

When I got back Adam had tried to trash the house
much to mum's dismay. She had managed to get him dressed and managed to
get him to actually eat something.

We then spent the day
nesting! My house is so clean it is ridiculous. We rearranged Adam's
bedroom, blitzed upstairs, rearranged the dining room, blitzed the
kitchen. All this on top of washing all the prem clothing I have in the
house, washed the curtains in the lounge and dining room.

All
this time Adam was either throwing stuff, emptying it all out,
screaming, hitting or kicking me. Mum had to sit and feed him his lunch
because he refused to do it himself.
Twinkle was very quiet most of the day and has only really started moving in the last few hrs.

At 5.45/6pm my day took a dramatic turn upwards.

I
havent seen my dad since feb, which is a long time for me as I normally
try and see my family every month. Mum is down here 3/4 days a week
every week at the mo so she keeps me updated on all the family comings
and goings etc. Anyway I have been trying to work out how to see my dad
before Twinkle arrives as I cannot leave Southampton incase I go into
labour. I mentioned to him this week that I am really missing him and
wondered if there was anyway we could work it that he came down when
mum was here and spend a couple of days together. Due to his work
timetable and his colleagues wife being in hosp finding time is a
nightmare so not looking likely.
Well at 5.45/6pm we (mum and I)
were waiting for Paul to get in from work so we could sort Adam and
also make a decision on dinner. Adam was running around saying "oh no"
in a silly voice and I was tryign to record it on my phone.
Anyway I heard what I thought was Paul and turned round to see my dad standing in the lounge doorway!

I have never been so shocked in all my life!!
Apparently
mum, dad and Paul had all been scheming for weeks and arranged for them
to stay in a hotel tonight so that I can have some time with them both
tomorrow.

To say I burst into tears was an understatement. Mum
knows how much I have missed seeing my dad and I sooo wasn't expecting
to see him stood in my lounge on the day from hell!!!

He gave me
a massive hug and let me cry my eyes out. We took mum and dad over to
their hotel and had a couple of drinks with them and then came back and
put Adam to bed.
We are picking them up in the morning and going to spend the day with them.

I
have my Growth Scan at 2pm followed by consultant appointment so they
are going to look after Adam for us while we go so that he doesn't get
bored. We'll then all spend the remainder of the afternoon together
before they get the train back in the evening.

I am so so
shocked to have my daddy here. It has made a bad day so so so much
better. Paul didn't realise I had crumbled but mum knew I would and was
on hand with tissues.

I am so looking forward to spending the
day with them tomorrow. It is such a nice thing for them all to arrange
for me. I can't believe it.
I am so so so happy.

I love my mum and dad soooo much. We are all so close and this is just amazing.

So so sorry for rambling on.

I'll update again tomorrow night after they have left. Hopefully have some scan pics to share.







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20 April 2008




baby boy







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20 April 2008




27+2

bump pics







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20 April 2008




27+2

bump pics







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19 April 2008




my cheeky chap







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19 April 2008




my cheeky chap







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19 April 2008




the freaky bump!!!

See what I mean about lopsided!!







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19 April 2008




27+1

Well made it over the next milestone.
28wk
scan on Thursday to see how baby is growing and see how fluid levels
are. I still think something is going on but noone listens!

Have
now had 2 small shows since thursday. lovely mucus type gunk tinged
pink. Yippee. This is all way too much like my pg with Adam

Have
had to have full liver function tests and bile acid levels done as
suffering with chronic itching on palms of hands, soles of feet, legs,
arms and top of bump. Driving me insane. Been given some stuff for it
to help ease it off, so nice getting Paul to rub my feet!!

Got a bump support band today on the hope that will help alleviate some of the heavy draggiong feeling I am getting.

I reckon this baby will be here in max next 4 weeks.

Nicky
(amberbecca) I am praying everyday that your brother gets stronger and
stronger. I know there is a long way to go but if he is anything like
you he will keep fighting!!! Keep texting me!! I am always here for you.

Gem - I am so glad all was ok at your scan. Was soooo worried for you.

Mari- your bump is looking fab!!!

Mandy
(Mandyjs) - I read your diary for Angel Ruby last night and ended up in
tears. You have been through so much. I am sending floaty kisses every
day up to Ruby as she plays among the clouds with the other angel
babies.

Laura E (Lemmy23)- I am so so sorry to read about your
scan today. I was praying and praying all would be ok. You so deserve a
positive outcome. I wish I could help in some way but words seem
meaningless.

Tracy F - Hair looks lovely although I am gutted you have lost all those beautiful curls :(

Hugs to all the July 08 mums

I will end on some pics!!

Adam and bump







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12 April 2008




da bump







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12 April 2008




adam and bump







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12 April 2008




26+1

Woo Hoo!!

Well over the 26 wk milestone!!

Day by day here we are!!

I haven't put anything in here before now about some suspicions that have floated around but have decided now is the time.

We appear to have had another not-so real person on our boards.

I have seen some pics from someone else that are date marked and it appears someone has used them fraudulently(sp) on this site.

Makes you wonder.

Anyhow this person hasn't logged on since we were made aware of the possible fakeness!

The
girls in July have been through so much. We've already had 4 mums who
have sadly got angels now and my thoughts are always with them.

Am
feeling wiped out today. We went for a little plod in RVCP today.
Didn't walk far at all but obv my body isn;t meant to be doing it at
all so I am now suffering.

Adam has had a stroppy day today. Very tired despite an 11hr sleep last night!!
Me,
well I only slept from 5-6am and then 7-8am as I have a DH who snores
like a, I don't know what I can't describe it!! Also had restless legs
and nightmares again

Had a nice chat with the feb girls last
night. As always we ended up discussing food!!! Made me feel very
hungry just before bed!!!

Ness - I hope you are feeling better today and that you realise we are all here to talk to! Hope the letter writing helped!!!

Will add some pics now of 26week bump. excse the slant on some. DH decided to be "arty" in his words!!!







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10 April 2008




25+6 (be prepared its gonna be a long one!!)

Well
tomorrow is the first big milestone. The big 26weeks. Everything from
here on in with Adam went pear-shaped so just going to take every day
as it comes.

I so want to feel positive....
I mean so far hasn't been easy yet I have made it this far.

I am finding it so difficult to think positively about anything at the moment.
The dreams just seem to be getting worse and they are freaking me out even more.

Why on earth can't I have nice "weird" dreams?

Why is everything doom and gloom? Its bringing me down and I am dreading every night for fear I wake up and its all true.

I
mean, I am praying every night that Adam coughs or cries so I know that
he is ok. I dread anyone leaving the house for fear that my dream of
them all having a fatal accident comes true.

Even in the
shower earlier today I slipped into a day dream and ended up crying
because I had "seen" Paul and Adam being killed while on their walk. I
was willing them to walk through the door.

This is madness. You are meant to enjoy pregnancy and I sure as hell am not enjoying this at the moment.

I
need to slap myself stupid to try and think ahead and think of the fact
that despite how hard this is at the moment it is more than a million
times worth it as I will have a beautiful brotehr or sister for Adam in
my arms. They will be healthy and happy and so so so so loved.

I
have always known I wanted 2 children and I will NEVER NEVER NEVER feel
guilty for making the decision to have a second child after all I went
through with Adam.

I am so fed up of the people who judge me for
deciding to have 2 children. I mean where do they get off telling me I
am selfish, inconsiderate and generally irresponsible for having a 2nd
child, knowing my history and all the problems I had last time.

This
child, like Adam, will never ever be without love, caring,
understanding and promise. I will love him/her unconditionally like
Adam.

I will never let my problems in pregnancy make them feel
like I didn't want them. I so desperately want this baby. Not selfish.
I want to share all my love I have to give. What is wrong in that????

I
don't jusdge those who have only one child. I may not understand at
times the decision some make to have an only child but I will never say
"I think you are selfish, wrong etc etc etc etc"

It isn't my life and doesn't impact on me so I have no reason to comment.

So to all those who think I am wrong

"SOD
OFF - GET A LIFE - STOP INTERFERRING IN MY LIFE. MY CHILDREN ARE SO
WANTED AND LOVED AND NO MATTER WHAT YOU SAY I WILL ALWAYS LOVE THEM
EQUALLY! THEY ARE MY LIFE"

Sorry for ranting. I guess so many little things are getting to me and I need to vent how I am feeling.

being tired is making me loopy!!

Poor Adam was awake screaming in pain last night.
He has nappy rash from hell and was inconsolable.
He
has gone down so so so tired tonight. Medised should help with the pain
and am hoping that cos he is soooo tired he'll sleep a bit better.

I hate not being able to help him. Not meant to carry or pick him up. Hard not to when inconsolable.
Its an automatic response to cuddle a crying child.

Tracy (tig81) found this and posted it in feb for me. made me cry!

"Never Let Go Of Hope

One day you will see that it all has finally come together.

What you have always wished for has finally come to be.

You will look back and laugh at what has passed and you will ask yourself,
"How did I get through all of that?"

Just never let go of hope.

Just never quit dreaming.

And never let love depart from your life.
~ Jancarl Campi ~"


Says it all really.

I better sign off now as no doubt will make myself even crosser for ranting!!

Nicky (Amberbecca) - I am thinking of you and your family. Keep me posted and I'll keep the april girls posted!

Dawn - Big congrats. So glad to hear your news. Please try and post more often. Miss seeing you on the board!!

Gillx
- you know I am always hear for you. Always will be. Just allow
yourself time and it will get easier (easier said that done I know xx)

Hayley (mummyduck) - I hope you are back with us for good hun!! Been aaaaaaaaaages!!!!

Claire (cecl) - let us know how tomorrow goes with the cranial osteopath. I hope the dishy man can help Alfie.

Tracy (Tig81) - Happy birthday for tomorrow hun!!! Have a brilliant day!!!

Gem (gemstar1981) - How glad am I that you are on here!!!!

Mari - Hope you are ok and relaxing at your mums!! Sorry been so cack at emailing the last few weeks!!

(pic is my scrummy favourite little man!!!)







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8 April 2008




25+4

I'm here.
Sorry not been on. Been feeling a bit weird. Twinkle is ok, Adam is fantastic and I am just me!!

Nearly 26wks!

Been having really nasty scary dreams that are shaking me up.

The main recurring ones are

Having a stillborn.
Adam stopping breathing
Mum, dad and paul all in fatal accidents.

They are so vivid that I am crying when I have them and beg whoever I have dreamt about to give me a sign all is ok.
Even having them as daydreams now and its scary.

Trying hard to focus on all things good etc.

Its so good having Adam home after his 5 day stay at mums. He is a gorgeous little man. Very chatty in "adam" talk.

Twinkle is a mover and groover!! Always moving, can see limbs and things.






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6 April 2008




25+2 pics






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6 April 2008




25+2 pics







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6 April 2008




25+2 pics







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3 April 2008




24+5

You lot will want rid of me soon.

I
am home. Waters in tact according to my consultant. Apparently I have
what looks like a case of thrush that is mimicking fluid like amniotic
fluid.
Will be treated continuously for this and hopefully when waters do go then I will know.
Twinkle is firmly stuck in a breech position and because of my weird insides they won't become ceph at all.

A lot has happened in the hospital with me since 4am.

An
official investigation is underway as a mw came and woke me up and gave
me a steroid injection even though the consultants and us didn't want
me to have it yet.

I have had to do a report etc as although no
harm has technically been done as it was a lung maturing steroid, it
could have been worse.
The consultants are furious with what
happened as it wasn't even written in my drug chart that I had had it
and they only knew because I queired what time I would have to have the
2nd injection.

Mum has taken Adam for us for 4 nights so we can try and get some rest and tomorrow I am on my own as Paul has to go into work.
I will make sure I get as much rest as possible.

Thank
you all for your kind txts and messages. I feel like everything is
going wrong and and am permanently having to fight at the moment to
make myself heard.

I promise to try and stay out of hospital for
as long as possible!!! I wish it didn't all seem like a drama and a
half. I feel like a waste of space at the mo and just seem to be
causing bother everywhere I go.

I'll try and get on again soon.







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31 March 2008




blanket







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31 March 2008




blanket







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31 March 2008




blanket







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31 March 2008




blanket






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31 March 2008




adam







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31 March 2008




24+3

Still hanging in here!!

Twinkle will now not let me sleep more than 1 hour a night if I am lucky!

Mum is down now which is excellent. Thank god for her today!! Adam has changed over night into a pure DEVIL!!!
He has done noting but hit, pinch, kick, scream (and I mean SCREAM), throw things at me,
He drew all over the lounge floor with wax crayon! ripped stuff up and refused food!!

He is a nightmare!!

Mum and I have decided that if he does the same tomorrow we are going to send him back and ask for my real son back!!! lol

Wanted to share a pic or two I took yesterday.

1 is of naughty man!!!

the other is the blanket my mum has made for Twinkle.
I
want something I can sleep with until Twinkle arrives so no matter how
early, it will have my smell nearby when in incubator. Also she made a
fleece square with a motif so I can put it with Twinkle when he/she
arrives and then I can carry it around and have their smell nearby at
all times.

Not much else to report today.








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31 March 2008




24+3

Still hanging in here!!

Twinkle will now not let me sleep more than 1 hour a night if I am lucky!

Mum is down now which is excellent. Thank god for her today!! Adam has changed over night into a pure DEVIL!!!
He has done noting but hit, pinch, kick, scream (and I mean SCREAM), throw things at me,
He drew all over the lounge floor with wax crayon! ripped stuff up and refused food!!

He is a nightmare!!

Mum and I have decided that if he does the same tomorrow we are going to send him back and ask for my real son back!!! lol

Wanted to share a pic or two I took yesterday.

1 is of naughty man!!!

the other is the blanket my mum has made for Twinkle.
I
want something I can sleep with until Twinkle arrives so no matter how
early, it will have my smell nearby when in incubator. Also she made a
fleece square with a motif so I can put it with Twinkle when he/she
arrives and then I can carry it around and have their smell nearby at
all times.

Not much else to report today.







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29 March 2008




This is a sad post but want to say to MandyJS that I am thinking of you at this extremely difficult time.

I am sending all my love & hugs your way and sending floaty kisses to your beautiful angel Ruby in the sky xxx






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29 March 2008




24+1

Well def a much more positive day today.

I
begged and pleaded with Paul to take me out earlier as feeling a bit
cooped up at the moment. So off we went to Woolston and went and had a
very slow plod into the few shops there.
Its only 5 mins from home but I can't sit in the car as so uncomfy.

We went into the wool shop and bought my mum a mini pressie as she has been so fantastic.

She
phoned earlier on to say that her and Dad wanted to know if they could
have Adam over night next weekend. Well, we have bitten the bullet and
said yes,

It will be Adams first night away from home without either of us, since being in the neonatal unit.
Mum
is coming here tomorrow, leaves again wed, then comes back on sat
morning early, where we will meet her at the station and she will get
the next train hime with Adam as well. She is then back on the sunday
as normal.

Got it all planned in my head on what to do, what he should take etc but I know I will be upset when he is on the train.

Paul has said we can go for a meal if I feel up to it, which will be lovely!

I
have been moving around a lot today which has led to a lot of pain but
I guess I won't be able to be pain free till after Twinkle is here.

Moving lots as always. Paul had a good wack from twinkle yest which was hilarious as he wasn't expecting it!

I made my first EVER batch of playdough today!! very proud of myself.

Now going to make Adam his tea and then think about ours! (mind you Paul will make that!!)

I had a couple of friends pop in yesterday which was fantastic!!!
It was so nice to relax and not be expected to do anything!!
Juliet
and her gorgeous daughter Laura popped in first! Laura is such a lovely
little girl! Full of chatter and has come out of her shell so much
since I have got to know them both.
Alison popped in with Elizabeth just before Juliet left and boy what a smiler Beth is!!! It made my day!!

Both girls are going to break a lot of hearts!!

I did add some bump pics first before I wrote this.
The one from front on looks soooo odd to me. I mean its all lopsided and looks unnatural!!

Then again I am a freak of nature with my abnormal insides!!!

Got to laugh really or I'd cry!!

Any way best get on. Adam now tucking into soup and toast and I am feeling hungry for the 100th time today.

Better stay away from the ice lollies! Already got acid indigestion! Better hunt the rennies!!

TTFN xx






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29 March 2008




24wk bump pics









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29 March 2008




24wk bump pics









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29 March 2008




24wk bump pics









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29 March 2008




24wk bump pics









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29 March 2008




24wk bump pics

just realised this one looks very odd!







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28 March 2008




24 weeks!!!!!

Bless you lotcrycrycrycrycry

I feel like its my birthday with all the congratulation messages I have had today!! lol
Anyone around to celebrate with a virtual drink tonight??

Saw mw today. Bump is measuring 4 weeks ahead(28 not 24), most likely because of my odd insides.
BP is up from 90/50 to 120/70 so she is going to keep an eye on it. Not overly bothered tho as prob cos I am stressing!

All tests - urine/swabs etc I have had are all NAD which is great.

Twinkle has a nice strong heartbeat 140-155 which she let me record again.
Gave her a good kick and wriggle as well which was funny.

Talked
about my worries again and she has really helped by listening and
reassuring me. Talked about the steroids etc and she also told me that
Southampton are one of the places that are doing the swabs for pre-term
labour.

Been home alone most of the day as Paul and Adam have
gone to Chichester to lay flowers for Pauls mum and grandad. 1st time
in 8 yrs I haven't been able to go with him and feel poo for not going,
but can't manage the car journey.
Feel especially bad as its 20yrs today since he lost his mum.


I am eating so much its daft yet still lighter than I was when I fell pg!!

Ash and Ness Thank you for your txts. sorry not replied. been shocking today!!

Em - got everything crossed bean turns up in next day or so. really looking forward to the txt!!!

Ann-Marie (Starlar) OMG!!! Congratulations
******************** EXTRA STICKY
BABY GLUE
********************
********************************

Mari - sorry been so lame this week - will try and email you in a bit!

Claire - Huge hugs. stick to your guns!!!!







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27 March 2008




23+6

Sorry not been around girls.

I'm ok. Over emotional and bit out of sorts.

Magic milestone one is approaching tomorrow!

Any sign of more frequent pains and I can have the steroids etc although want to hang on as long as possible before having them

Tightenings
still frequent and painful but pain killers are doing what they have
to. Trying not to take them all the time as I know Twinkle will have a
dependency at birth of take them for too long.

I see the mw in the morning and will have a long chat with her about everything.

Mum went home yesterday and is back on sunday. I was in tears when she left.
I am so out of sync is peculiar.

Adam
is finding it weird that mummy won't pick him up but he is enjoying his
cuddles lots and lots. All is fun and games in the Tupper household!!

Tomorrow
will also be the first time in 8yrs together that I cannot support DH
by going to lay flowers for his mum with him. I can't sit in the car
for any period of time and its 20yrs this yr and I am gutted. Its also
2 yrs sat since his grandad passed away.

Hope everyone is ok.







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23 March 2008




23+2

I want to do one thing today

GIVE BIG HUGS TO

Shelley
(shelley81) - Keep going hun!! You will get that BFP soon, your 3
angels are looking over you and I am always here is you need me!!

Mari - The best bump buddy there is!!! So so happy on your 2 girls!!! Best news ever!!!!

Tracy & Toby (Tig81) - Bless the little man. He is such a cutie and I hate seeing any diddy peeps so poorly.

JoJo and Jess - Always thinking of you and your angels.

Lynda - Huggles to the girls. I hope their colds are clearing up quickly and things settle soon.

I am watching The Wizard Of Oz and singing along (out of tune I must add!!)

any how off I go for now. pain killers making me very very dopey and the screen is blurry!






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21 March 2008




and Adam








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21 March 2008




and another








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21 March 2008




and another








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21 March 2008




and another








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21 March 2008




23 wks!!

Woo Hoo!! 1 week closer to my 24 week target!!!

Been an horrendous week.

I
have the best bump buddy ever - Mari!!! Thank you so much hun for
keeping me thinking positive and being there at the end of the phone.

Wed was awful. I really couldn't work out why I felt so awful.Things just didn't feel right at all.
Mum was great and forced me to call the LW day unit and they said to come in that afternoon.

The
tightenings are def contractions according to the mw and doc.
unfortunately as I am under 24+ weeks they won't do a CTG as it won't
give an accurate reading.

Heartbeat is fine between 140-155bpm so a happy Twinkle we have!!

HAd an internal and both cervixes are closed and looking to stay that way at the moment.

Fundal height has worried the mw on the unit as measuring 27wks not 22/23.

The
hospital will not intervene in anyway to stop the contractions as they
are until I go over 24wks as Twinkle just won't be able to survive
until 24+wks.

Its scary to think that everything is on a knife
edge. I just wish I could relax and enjoy this but it is so
uncomfortable. Pain killers are doing their thing for now so thats
helping.

Mum has stayed down to look after Adam and DH! She is
one in a million and I need to trya nd find a way of repaying her for
all her kindness! She has given up time to spend it here looking after
us all. She is playing with Adam all the time, the laughter is killing
me as he has such a happy giggle and I wish I could be a part of it and
I can't be.

Oh well. He is developping so well and is an amazing child. hugs and kisses when he sees me.

I am so lucky to have my mum.

Oh well. back to doing not a lot. Doing my x-stitch which is now 2/3rds done and then on to the next one!

Have added weekly bump pic and will also add a couple of pics of Adam as well as he is such a gem!!









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18 March 2008




22+4

Had
a really bad night last night and a rough day today. The tightenings
got to 3-4 in 10 and ended up in tears at 4am. Very nearly dragged DH
out of bed to take me to the hospital but grinned and beared it(well
cried!) and eventually it died down again.

The tightenings have
been getting bad on and off all day and even mum got worried it would
end up with me being taken in but pain killers managed to take an edge
off.

I am so tired. Adam woke twice in the night after his
nappy leaked. DH seems to insist on giving him a drink whenever he
wakes and hence 2 full changes of clothes in the night last night. DH
will not listen to me but hey. I'm only the one who has to then put up
with an over tired and soggy toddler at 3am!!! Tonight he is banned
from having anything as I cannot cope with another night of no sleep.
Mind you I think my chances of that went out the window when I fell pg with Adam!

Mum
has been so amazing. Yesterday she entertained Hannah and Adam all day
when Tracy came over with the kids. They played so nicely. Mum was
absolutely shattered bless her. Today she has been so wonderful again.
Looking after Adam, re-enforcing that I need to have naps all the time.
She keeps shutting the doors and taking Adam out so I can't hear him as
she knows when he cries I come and check on him.

He has been so loving. He is always giving me puckered up kisses and also giving my bump hugs and kisses.

I
am so proud of how he is dealing with all this. I just wish I could
deal with this as well. I am so unable to control my emotions at the
moment, Adam was having a "moment" where it wasn't going his own way
and I just fell apart on mum.

Any way enough for tonight.

Mari, I hope today has passed as smoothly as possible and you have been in my thoughts.

Elmo (((((HUGS)))))








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16 March 2008




22+2

What a long night. SOooooooooooooooooooooooo tired!!!
I
got no sleep. Adam woke at 10 and 4. At 4 he had a nappy leakage and DH
decided taht having a wet vest and LJ bottoms was fine so I had to
strip Adam. Why are men so useless?

Then Twinkle kept catching me under teh ribs and in my pelvis and would not stop wriggling and fidgeting all night.

I've
had no brekkie cos we ran out of cereal and DH doesn't think it matters
that I need it. "have toast he says" even though he knows taht for the
last 5mths anything toasted makes me sick.

Anyhow. I need to find some grub! I am HUNGRY!! willd o a full gas later!! Battery flat at the mo

 



View Entry


Good Grief .... where has time gone?
DATE: 03/16/2008 10:33:50 / MOOD: in love

I have been trying to log on since Jan and gather there was some time that the site was unavailable.

 

if you have a moment where you can't get to sleep I have pasted my diary below. (Again most recent is at the top so the diary starts at the bottom!!)

 

Lots has happened. Adam is a beautiful, loving, happy little boy who is finding things weird at the moment as mummy can't really look after him.

 

All explained in diary. Things are all plodding in though.

 

Hope everyone are well. Sorry its been so long

 










15 March 2008




22+1

WARNING!!!!
WARNING!!!!
WARNING!!!!

Hideous pic following!! Sorry uncoordinated undies but just got out of shower and couldn't be arsed to change to match!!!








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15 March 2008




22+1

WARNING!!!!
WARNING!!!!
WARNING!!!!

Hideous pic following!! Sorry uncoordinated undies but just got out of shower and couldn't be arsed to change to match!!!








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15 March 2008




Sorry, was going to post last night but had a stroppy husband and a grumpy toddler!

Consultants appt went as well as could be expected.

The aim is to get to 28wks at the moment when I have a growth scan and my next consultants appt.

Twinkle is very happy at the moment. Nice strong fast heartbeat.

I
am allowed off of strict bed rest. I am allowed to spend more time with
Adam although I am under strict orders of NO lifting of any kind, inc
Adam. Most I am allowed to carry is cups of tea or plates of food, and
odd bits of washing.

I am allowed once a week ish to walk to local shop at end of road, as long as I walk very slowly.

I
asked about the birth as I had a CS with Adam. Providing Twinkle isn't
too earl, breech and cervix actually does what it is supposed to, I
will be allowed to try for a VBAC.

Consultant hopes we can get
as far as I did with Adam, no quarantee tho. Any sign of probs or
concerns I have to contact the labour ward straight away.

My mws have put me on fortnightly reviews so we can pick up any problems asap.

Will next see mw on 28th March and then again 11th April which is for my bloods for anti-d levels.

Generally I feel ok. Bit fed up with everything. Moody husband not helping, although he is in a better mood this morning.

Sleep is non-existent. Bladder appears to have been turned into a sieve as am on the loo every 5 mins!!

Going to spend today watching the rugby, supervise Adam and his colouring and playdough and do my cross-stitch that I am doing.








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12 March 2008




Just a quickie copied from my July Anc!!

I feel pretty crap to be honest. You understand my diary more than most and I am so confused and hurt.

I am bricking it about tomorrow.

To
top it off my best friend, Adams godmother, is in hospital. she is
31wks. having contractions (not that she can feel them - bless her)
with bp of 170/105. she has had the 1st steroid injection and is now on
nifedipine(like I was with adam) to stop/slow contractions and to lower
bp.
She is terrified, her DH would rather go to work tomorrow than support her in hospital and I can't do a damn thing to help!!

sorry. its been a crap week.






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11 March 2008




21+4

My mind is all over the place.
So much is happening on here.

Lots of doubts about the authenticity of some statements that have been made.

I have such doubts in my mind. I am inclined to believe nothing I have read is true.

I am a person who likes to see the best in everyone. Why the hell am I so trusting.
Can people really and honestly be so cruel as to use others sad and unfortunate situations as their own?

Its made me question the person I am.

I always like to give people the benefit of the doubt but I honestly feel like I am being taken for a ride this time.

Its
made me feel so uncertain and things that have been said have panicked
so many people and worried them. I mean people who would have no reason
to worry about having prems are terrified now,
those who know what
its like to have prems are already nervous enough. I am freaking that
this baby will come earlier than Adam did.

Am I being irrational and stupid?
Am I really a mug?

Mari - Thank you for the txt today! I'm so glad I have you as a bump buddy!

will post again later when calmed down and not feeling sick!






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10 March 2008




21+3

Just a quick entry tonight.

Pains bad and really unsettling me.

I guess I am now worrying more as Anna (LJai) gave birth to her twins yesterday at 23+3.

Its
brought back how I felt when Adam tried coming at 26wks and how I am as
at risk now. The bed rest is obv doing what its supposed to as haven't
gone into labour yet.

I just feel so nervous. I should be enjoying this pregnancy and I just can't relax.

Roll
on Thursday and seeing the consultant. I just want her to reassure me
and let me know all will be ok, mind you she can't tell me the latter
as noone knows what is going to happen.

I am going to get mum to wash all the prem white baby clothes this week.

Christ
I have had enough of it all. I just wish and pray that some part of
this pregnancy will go well. I am so jealous of everyone I know who has
had a successful and uncomplicated pregnancy.

Just wish I could share in that









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8 March 2008




21+1

I
am feeling pretty poop today. The outlaws came today and seemed to yet
again look down their noses at me. We warned them I won't be cooking
cos of needing to rest but still look put out when no food appeared.
They never cook for us when we pop over - so sod them!

My best
mate Gemma (adams godmother) and her hubby and daughter(my goddaughter)
came over as well. Gem is 31wks pg so is so understanding of how I am
feeling and knows I don't want people around who are going to moan at
me or expect me to be the perfect host. She noticed how the outlaws
were acting. Mind you so did Paul, which is unheard of.

I can't wait till Thursday when see consultant to have some understanding of whats happening.

I'm sorry. I am moaning again. "slaps wrists"

Adam was given loads of pressies today. He would have got them if he had had his party.

He
was given a Thomas the Tank Engine Rucksack, Thomas Jumper and Long
Sleeve Top, 2 ITNG Books and Push N Go Thomas from Gemma Mark and
Katie. Sil & her not so D H bought him the magnetic wooden Stack
and Build Thomas - which we had bought him for his birthday! (They
looked utterly put out when Adam put it to one side to play with his
other new things!)

Grrr to Outlaws!!







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7 March 2008




21wks!

Not going to post much as feeling pretty awful and had too many moany posts in here.

Here is my weekly pic







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6 March 2008




my big boy!







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6 March 2008




the card Adam "wrote"







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6 March 2008




another pic of flowers







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6 March 2008




20+6

Moan Alert !
:(

I
feel flipping awful. Been sick so much today because of pains. Have
started to get pink stained discharge. I am keeping a close eye on
that. I feel sick and tearful while typing this.

Mum is nearly
home after leaving here this evening. She has been a god-send all week.
I am so lucky to have my mum! She is an angel in disguise.

She had me in tears today.

I was doing some stitching upstairs and mum and Adam had gone out for a little stroll as he was getting restless.

Mum shouted up to close my eyes and to keep them closed until she said.
So closed my eyes and I could hear Adam chuckling as they came upstairs.

I was tild to count to 3 and then open my eyes!

When I opened them I was greeted by my gorgeous little boy holding a beautiful posy of flowers for me!!!

Woosh!!! Tears by the bucket load! Adam came straight over, muddy shoes and all and gave me a huge cuddle.

Apparently,
mum and Adam had been on a walk yesterday morning and Adam had said he
wanted to buy me a £60 bouquet! Mum had to reneogitate the cost as Adam
has no money! They ordered te flowers to be collected this morning.
When got back from ordering them, mum then had the fright of the
delivery man bringing the flowers from the girls.

She was a
teeny bit upset as she was so happy after buying the flowers for me
from Adam. She thought it was such a nice gift from my friends and she
hasn't much money to buy anything as big.

I love both sets though as came from the heart! I wish I deserved all this attention, but don't feel like I do.

I am so priviledged to have such amazing friends and family,
Paul
is the love of my life and I hoep he knows that! I have been so
touv=chy lately and keep snapping at him. I wish he could understand
how I am feeling but that is me being me.

I have made such amazing true friends on here,

Tracy,
Emma, Lynda, Vanessa, Gill, Nicky are to name but a few. You have all
been so supportive. All have had enough to worry about with your own
lives etc and I hope to repay you some day.

Tracy - I hope you manage to get some sleep tonight

Emma - still looking for that hol for you!

Lynda - the girls are gorgeous!!! I am still in awe of how you grew to such beautiful big girls!

Vanessa - Hope all went well today and you got to the source of the extreme tiredness.

Gill
- So glad you have now put a ticker on!!! I am over the moon for you!!!
You so deserve this pg and Jess wil be a fab big sis!!

Nicky - (((((HUGS)))) you know what thats for !!! :)

Sorry
for moaning so much. I feel awful for doing it. Maybe I should lock
myself in a box away from everyone until Twinkle arrives, then I wont
depress anyone!

here are my flowers from Adam








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5 March 2008




Here are my gorgeous flowers









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5 March 2008




20+5

Been having some absolutely horrendous tightenings the last few days. They have been so painful that I have been throwing up.

Been getting increased number of tighenings. Early today I had 4 in 20 mins and then they tailed off to 3 in 40.

They keep speeding up and then slowing down. Its getting me down.

Had the biggest surprise of my life today.

I was upstairs having a nap and mum came up to say something had been delivered to me.

Apparently
when she was ironing in the dining room a man appeared down the back
steps with a box for me. Scared the life out of her as she didn't
realise that we get deliveries round the back.

Anyhow, I went down stairs and sat on the worktop was an M&S flower box.

I opened it to find a gorgeous bouquet of peach roses, pink & white tulips, Lilac freesias(my fave flower) and lilies.
To
say I was shocked was an understatement. I found the card in with
delivery note and promptly turned into a gibbering blubering wreck

"Just
a little note to let you know we are all thinking of you. Make sure you
rest and keep on cooking that yummy bump. Lots of Love Emma, Lynda,
Tracy and Vanessa. Lots of love."

I am truly blessed and
honoured to have such amazing friends. I didn't join Feb 06 until after
I had Adam and they all (everyone on the board) made me feel so welcome
and as if I had been there from day one of pg.

The saying is true! "Friends are the family we pick for ourselves"

You have been so wonderful girls. I couldn't ever dream of having better friends than all of you.

You have made me smile!

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!

Here are my gorgeous flowers









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4 March 2008




20+4

very tired today. No sleep at all last night. Been feeling sick all day.
Now developed indigestion which is irritating!

Adam
got all protective over twinkle today. Mum had hand on bump feeling
Twinkle kick and Adam came over, pushed her hand off and pulled my top
back down and tried pulling my trousers up!
Got very shirty with mum!

I saw an arm or leg today as Twinkle was moving around. It was really strange but nice to see.

I think I will spend even more time in bed tomorrow as last couple of days I have done too much and am in so much more pain.

ho hum. Joys of pregnancy.






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3 March 2008




another 1







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3 March 2008




another 1







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3 March 2008




another 1







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3 March 2008




another 1







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3 March 2008




another 1







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3 March 2008




scan pics







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3 March 2008




20+3

Woo Hoo Hoo!!

Had scan!! It was amazing.
Twinkle kept waving and bouncing around.

All is good.
Here is the offical report!

Biparietal Diameter(BPD) 49.0mm
Head Circumference (HC) 178.0 mm
Transcerebellar Diameter (TCD) 21.0mm
Abdominal Circumference (AC) 165.0mm
Femur Length (FL) 33.0mm

Est Fetal weight (BPD-HC-AC-FL) 386g
Heart Action Present, Fetal Movements Visible, Amniotic Fluid: Normal
Cord:3 Vessels, Placenta: Posterior High, Structure Normal

Fetal Anatomy

The following were visualised and appear normal

Head,
Brain, Face, Spine, Neck and Skin, Chest, Four-chamber View and great
vessels, abdominal wall, gastro-intestinal tract, kidneys and bladder,
extremities, Skeleton

I am over the moon!!

Twinkle is still Twinkle. A surprise to the end as we wanted!!

We saw the feet, so tiny!!!

Aww I am in love with my baby!! xxx






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2 March 2008




20+2

HAPPY MOTHERS DAY to everyone.

Whether you are a mum to a bump, a teeny or an angel may your day be one of smiles and happiness!

I hope at least some have been spoilt!

Here - I had a beautiful card and a huge wet sloppy kiss from Adam and a big kick from Twinkle.

Had another sleepless night last night. Twinkle kicked and moved all night and Paul's snoring was atrocious!
Been nice today, had windows open again, breeze blowing in.
Paul painted the wall again so hopefully this week we will get the Feature wall painted.

Its been a mission but even now it looks 100 times better than it did.

Once
this feature wall is done (well the only wall to be painted blue) then
we can paint the others. Need it done before Twinkle turns up.

Going to do some stitching in a bit but can't be bothered. having a laugh and getting frustrated with the impossible quiz!








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1 March 2008




20+1

Anyway pic 5 - Pic from above
(don't know if you can see clearly how belly button is more to the right)








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1 March 2008




20+1

Anyway pic 5 - Pic from front
(don't know if you can see clearly how belly button is more to the right)








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1 March 2008




20+1

Anyway pic 4 - Pic from right side again
(don't know if you can tell the difference or not.








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1 March 2008




20+1

Anyway pic 3 - Pic from left side again
(don't know if you can tell the difference or not.








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1 March 2008




20+1

Anyway pic 2 - Pic from right side (smallest side)









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1 March 2008




20+1

YAY!!

Well made it over 20weeks!!! Officially half way now although we're pretty sure we passed it a while back!!

This
bed rest isn't too bad. I know I moan but am noticing the pains a lot
more if I move around. I shouldn't complain really as all that is
important is that I can keep Twinkle growing well and tucked up for as
long as possible.
Poor Paul and Adam are suffering as Paul isn't
used to having to deal with Adam all the time, so can't get on with his
usual jobs like he normally would. As I type he is trying to render the
new wall with smooth concrete so that when you look at it, it isn;t
hideous! Adam is playing in the garden next to him but keeps getting in
the way and wants to help but isn't allowed, so screaming is what can
be heard.

I try and help but I end up doubled up in pain and being more of a hinderance than a help.

Its
been so tough having to let others help look after Adam. I think Paul
is realising that I don't sit around all day and do nothing!!

Adam is missing my mum I think, as am I!!

Its
amazing how much I love my mum. Well its not amazing really, she is one
in a million. She just knows what I am thinking and feeling. She said
she feels bad that I am having such a lousy pregnancy, like she said
when I was pg with Adam. She wishes she could do it for me.

I wish I could have a normal pregnancy. At least then I wouldn't be such a lousy wife to Paul and a lousy mum to Adam.

I have had some amazing movements the last few days.

Yesterday
I was doing my cross-stitch and I suddenly lost my pattern!! Twinkle
obviously didn't want it resting on my bump so gave it a good welly and
it fell off!!

Its so strange watching my bump move all by
itself! I feel like it is breech like Adam was, the kicks and movements
feel like Adam did, although earlier!

My belly button is now
starting to well and truly flatten out, looks odd as looks like I have
2 because of my laparoscopy scar through the middle of it! It is also
no longer in the middle of my stomach and is now on my right hand side!
Its funny. Bump looks different sizes now. If look at it from left it
is def bigger than if look at it from the right!! It is really strange.

This
weather is sooo nice. I am led on the bed with the laptop, windows
open, football focus on the tv, laptop balanced on knees, listening to
the neighbours all working in their gardens and Adam having a hissy fit
at Paul as not getting his own way!
Oh the joys of the terrible twos!

I will now add my 20wk pics. Paul still isn't sure about my short hair. It hasn't been this short in about 10yrs!!

Anyway pic 1 - Pic from left side (biggest side)









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28 February 2008




19+6

I am so fed up now!sad

Not
only are the pains worse today but it now looks like I have a bad bout
of thrush starting and now uti getting in on the act!! Feels like my
bits have been sandpapered and destroyed. Having to wipe with baby
wipes as so painful.

The pain when I pass water is unbelievable. That on top of regular tightenings (contractions) is wiping me out.

Off
to docs tomorrow to see if I can have anything as Thrush is another
contributor to early labour, so isnt going to help my contractions!

I
feel awful moaning at the mo as had some really bad news on here this
week and made me feel awful for moaning, my probs are nowhere near as
bad as those with losses etc.
I am sorry for moaning girls.






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27 February 2008




19+5

Ever never to 20 weeks!

I am feeling awful, pains really bad today but don't want to moan today as just seen two lots of bad news on here.

JoJoR
- Jo my thoughts are with you and your family at this most horrendous
time. I am so sorry that you have had to go through this and I hope
that you have all the love and support to help carry you through this.

Jess
- Having read your diary I am so so saddened to hear of your
heartbreaking decision. You are such a courageous young lady and I hope
that all your family and loved ones rally round to help you through
this traumatic time.
We all know how hard a decision it has been to make and offer all the support we can.
You are a remarkable person and just want to send you massive hugs and will be thinking of you over the next few days.









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26 February 2008




19+4

I'm ok. Bored!!! lol.

We always wish we had time to sit and chill and now I have that I hate it!!

I miss my little man, can't play with him. Getting plenty of kisses and cuddles when he sees me.

My
mum is here until Thursday night so that Paul can go to work, and then
is coming back on Monday before scan so she can have Adam and will stay
till Thursday night again.
The following week she will be here from Sunday afternoon until wednesday night.

I'd be lost without her I really would.

Have
noticed today that the more I move around, ie go and sit downstairs,
watch Adam for 5 while mum has cig etc, that the pains intensify and
get much more frequent, so have been told only allowed downstairs for
10 mins max every few hrs.

I really do hope it dies down soon tho. I don't think I'll stay sane if have to be like this till I deliver!
I am hoping cons will have answers when I see her on 13th and I'll be allowed to do more after then but who knows!

Anyone any good recommendations for books or films?

I am spending so much time on here that there are no new messages on the boards!!

yay!







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25 February 2008




19+3

Well my MW is soooo lovely.

She called me this morning while she is on hols to check I am ok.

Been
told that I need to take it as easy as possible up to 24wks! Pants!
We're hoping it will settle before then but no guarantees so
contingency plans are in place.

My mum came down this morning and is staying until thursday.

She
will then return on sunday and stay till wed evening and will do that
until I reach 24weeks! It means I will actually be able to rest when I
need to and wil have help with Adam.

only got 2 more ABs to take so hopefully they have done their job!

Eating regularly and drinking plenty.

Adam
has been a wonderful boy today and came up to give me a kiss. After
giving me a snog he then decided to lick my face all over - strange
child but so cute!

I really do love my little man!!!!

He is so so so special.

Grrr bordem is so not fun!!

ho hum

Mari - Hope you are feeling a bit better soon.

Mel-B - welcome home to you and Indy Rose!!

Lynda - your twins are stunning!!! Such beautiful girls and SOOOO big!!!







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24 February 2008




In my absentmindedness forgot to post something important!!!

CONGRATUALTIONS

to DEBZ (debzandash) on the Birth of WILLOW LILLYANNE

To LYNDA (lyndasingleton) on the births of MIA CARA and FREYA LUCY

To VICKY (vgereis) on the Birth of PHILO-CHRISTIAN

I am so happy for all of you.

Also good luck to Jess (tomlinson) for tomorrow, sending positive thoughts and vibes your way.xxx






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