DATE: 09/03/2008 12:35:28 / MOOD: other

Live chat then tonight at 8.0 ish xx

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DATE: 09/02/2008 13:00:29 / MOOD: other

Hello everyone does anyone want a live chat this wednesday ?

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DATE: 08/30/2008 21:10:38 / MOOD: happy

Hi girls sorry i left you all in limbo we up and left to stay in a caravan for two weeks just get away

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DATE: 08/14/2008 21:04:18 / MOOD: other

Well it went realy well the weather was crap it pissed down but it was like kaite said its all the sleeping angels welcomeing callum to the gang

il up load some pics of his big day in the gallery i know its a bit strange having pics but there more for chloe realy for when shes older that we can tell her all about it x

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DATE: 08/12/2008 20:18:10 / MOOD: don't know

Well its my little mans big day tomorrow it has come round quick

Im very nervus about the whole thing but im sure it will be ok (i hope) i think the hardest thing is going to be well im not sure i suppose the whole day will be

just hope chloe will be ok

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DATE: 08/11/2008 21:04:34 / MOOD: other

i was 26 and a half weeks pregnant and started to bleed with discharge i went up the docs and sent to the hospital where thay had done a scan and said everything is fine could be just a slight bleed from your cirvix or something.

3 days later still bleeding but not heavy it stayed the same until the fourth day it had felt like i had just started a period and it was heavy so stright up the hospital i went an internal examination was done and the man midwife couldnt beleave the amount ov blood and didnt know where it had been comeing from looked at my scan report from 4 days earlier and said its all ok the plecenta is not low lying but thay gave me sterods any way just incase thay needed to get him out to strenghten his lungs as he was only 26 half weeks then sent me up to the ward to keep me in until i had stoped bleeding and to stay in 24 hours after it had stoped ?

still in hospital 2 days later still bleeding but not as heavy at all so thay sent me home ? still bleeding but not as heavy for the next three days the forth day/night i had filled a pad in an hour stright back to the hospital i went in a delivery room where i was traced up his heart went so low that thay got me into a gown ? but didnt tell me why thay just said will put you in this for now? (course where not realy sure how you read these traces) then i was on and off the toilet like there was no tomorrow and we were left to put the traces back on everytime i got off the loo sometimes we would find it no problem but other times WE HAD TO GET THE MIDWIFE IN THE ROOM TO DO IT  thats how much she was in the room ? got there at 11.30 friday night 25th july we were doing this till 4.00 basicly on are own apart from little amounts of time where thay would come in but only cos we asked them to ?

had a big blood clot in the toilet and from then on it went down hill more realy got back onto the trace for what would be the last time to try and find my little mans heartbeat but couldnt what seemed like 10 mins to me and chris to try and find it it wasent it was half hour called the midwife in again (everytime chris went to get her he found her in the coffee room ?) she couldnt find it then the big scan monitior came in and we seen callum there his heart was going still but it was so faint that the monitor couldnt pick it up and then it just stoped OMG i didnt know what to do say or anything its still a bler realy but i do remember just saying to the midwife just get it out of me ? was that wrong to say that god knows but when you see your baby die in front ov you and all you want to do is cuddle it but you cant ? thats hard

so i suppose you could say im a bit glad we seen him die at least we know the exact time he died not knowing i think would of been worse ?

so then came the next part the delivery but im not ready for that bit just yet iv had a hard day just wanted to type that bit realy at the mo see what im like tomorrow

Take care everyone xx

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DATE: 08/11/2008 20:40:34 / MOOD: angry

Well the people came today to go tho everything that had happened from when i first started to bleed 2 1/2 weeks before callum died as the bleeding never stoped and in and out of the hospital ? when i should of been keeped in

and the way i was not cared for properly and the way i wasent given one-one attention for callums last few hours ? as we seen him die on the monitor its self ?  im so numb again i dont realy know what to say anymore ?

and thay have admitted to us that we should of been cared for more and keeped an eye on more and that night he died we should of had one-one care with some one left in are delivery room the whole time ? so thay said thay are sorry ? ????? sorry that isnet going to bring callum back ? i should of had this care right from the start

what il do is wright a blog that explains everything form day one it might be boring to some people but to me looking back its the worst two and a half weeks of my life!

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DATE: 08/11/2008 10:00:06 / MOOD: other

Well i have got a head midwife/head of delivery suite comeing today to my house to talk to me and chris about the way i was treated in the hospital and to talk tho step by step what happend in the end as it was all a bit of a cock up

then hopefully if who ever was in the wrong it will be sorted out even tho she cant answer the big qustion to why did he die at least we will understand a little more (hopefully) so are heads will be a little clearer come his funeral

But i got to wait 6-8 weeks for the results of his postmortom

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DATE: 08/10/2008 19:19:30 / MOOD: other

Well we managed to get there today it was about 3.00ish but hay it didnt rain the whole time we were there but OMG the parking was £8 whata ajoke we were only there till 5 and it was a mile walk it was crazy

well be more prepard next time and i have never seen so much mud in my life you should of seen us but hay at least it put a smile on mine an chris face for a bit

hope your all well xx

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